Crazy Crap

I had just fallen asleep last night when a crop duster decided to fly what sounded like 10 feet above my roof. It scared the crap out of me. After a minute, and hearing it again, I realized what they were doing. Fourth in the Forest is tomorrow in Craighead Forest Park and they were spraying for mosquitoes. But the question I would like answered is why in the hell were they flying so close to my roof and countless other people's roofs who live beside Craighead Forest at 11 at night. Why not 9 or so?

I watched a lot of the Travel Channel yesterday and saw one commercial over and over that I couldn't stand. It was advertising the next episode of "Bert the Conqueror." Apparently he goes "noodling" with some white trash women in Tennessee. In one of the preview scenes, one of the women is below the muddy, nasty water and comes up holding a fish and apparently had her mouth open because she blows the nasty ass water out of her mouth. Now, let me tell you. I have never been the kind of person who likes to go to "the lake" or "the river." Honestly, I feel that it's beneath me. Do you have any idea what is floating in that nasty water? No, I have no desire to sit in stagnant water, get drunk, and look like an idiot. Plus, when these idiots around here go to "the river" I get confused because the river that I grew up next to was the fuckin Mississippi that you don't need to be swimming in. Yes people, Spring River is nothing but a shitty ass ditch.

I don't read any of these stupid ass "Twilight" books and I could care less about those stupid movies. The people they cast are not exactly attractive. I mean when I watched that one bitch in "Panic Room" I thought that she was a boy for half the movie. Plus, in the new Volvo commercial that has something to do with "Twilight" I see her kiss two different guy, one pale ugly one, and a hog nosed Mexican looking boy. I don't know what you call a girl who likes to kiss more that one guy but around these parts we call her a filthy whore. So take your "Twilight" wierdo self and keep away from me! I'm team William Faulkner cause that old bastard knew how to write books.

I hope that each and every one of you and your families have a very happy and safe Independence Day! Happy 234th Birthday America!